How Not To Book A Magician
Here are some handy tips to ensure you squeeze every last drop value out of the magician.
Actually, Why Bother?
First, do you really need a magician at all?
Most families have some saddo uncle who can pull a coin for behind an ear. Surely that’s enough.
Let’s face, most of the guests will be legless within half an hour of the bar opening. They would be fooled by anybody who was less drunk -not that difficult- than they were.
So, why not just rope in the aforementioned uncle and save yourself a bit of dosh.
Like this, for example:
The Booking Conversation.
If you will insist on hiring a magician then at least haggle as much as you can.
Have you seen the prices they’re asking? How do they justify that?
Come on, what can they expect to get paid for showing a couple of card tricks? How difficult can it be? It’s not as if they have spent literally hundreds of hours practising sleight of hand, is it?
Face it, anybody can pick up a trick deck in toy shop, get some cards printed off at Vistaprint and Hey Presto: they’re a magician. There’s nothing to it so they have no right to be charging so much.
It’s not as if they even have overheads to cover such a running an office, advertising, insurance and travel.
Just knock off 25% of the asking price.
Dammit, make it 50%: they probably added on 50 % just so they come down a bit. Come on, we all do that in business, don’t we?
Keep the booking conversation brief. Just give name and postcode of the venue. That’s enough detail. It won’t do them any harm to drive up and down a long road a few times looking for the hotel. If they get stuck, they can ask a local.
Nor should you explain about nay unusual access arrangements to the building or local road works you know about.
Don’t bother trying to reserve a bit of parking space either. Hauling their equipment up and down the road a few times will keep them fit. Come to think of it, they should thank you for the gym membership fees you are saving them
Don’t Mention The Children
No need to mention there will be children at the reception. The magician can find out about them when he arrives. The wedding speeches can be a bit boring for children, not to mention full of innuendo. So, your best bet is to pack them off before they become restless, start walking around, crying and trying to drink the champagne.
Give them a pile of blue sweets and stick them in a room with the magician. No matter that he isn’t really a children’s entertainer. He will think of something to keep them amused.
After all, He must have something up his sleeve.
Treat Them Mean Keep Them Keen
If you’re booking the magician for an afternoon and evening (to cover the photographs and the lull between the meal and the dancing) don’t bother to provide any food or drinks. A glass of water for the bar is all he deserves. Believe me, they work better when they are hungry.
You have two choices here. Give it in a brown envelope via the best man. He can wait until the Best Man has sobered up enough to remember where he hid it.
If he insists on making you go through all the bother of filling out a bank transfer, the let him a wait for the full 30 days (more if you can) before paying him. The money is far better in your pocket than his. And the wait will mean he’ll enjoy it all the more when it arrives.
You might be unlucky enough to contact a professional.
You know, somebody with bags of experience at entertaining at events just like yours; has the skill level required to be admitted to The Magic Circle; has fantastic recommendations and is fully insured. You can spot these types by the things they discuss during the booking conversation (eg Will there be any children? Is parking available?)
Stay away from this magician.
True, he may make everything run really smoothly so your guests have a fantastic time and you don’t have to worry about anything like him not arriving because he can’t find the place.
But what’s that compared to saving a few hundred quid on a £25000 wedding?
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